I Don't Understand

How someone, a woman, can be in your life as your best friend for over ten years....You help her through her divorce, several moves, several relationships that ended badly. A mental breakdown, depression, etc. You have her in your wedding, she is present for the birth of your child. She's the only person trusted to watch your children for you for a long time. You try to always be there for her.

And then one day, you need her. And you call on the friendship. And what you get in response, is nothing. Nothing but heartbreak. From a woman who you considered to be like a sister. She abandons you when you need her. What is with that?

There is all sorts of drama left out of this story, but really the most important part, is that I had a friend...someone who I thought was my best friend. And recently my life went to sh*t. I had people whom I loved and trusted leaving me left and right. I was a mess. And I went to my best friend, and she wasn't there for me. Then she created a ton of drama that I just really didn't need right then in my life. And then I realized that the friendship had become toxic. And it was time for me to shake the dust off my feet and move on. Like so much other stuff in my life. It's time for a change.

So even though my heart has been broken now, again, by yet another person whom I loved and trusted, I have to get back up, wipe the dust off of myself, and continue in Faith. For I am at a fork in the road, and it looks a great deal like this.

And in the mean time new friends are coming into my life. New friends like Kelly who is encouraging me to continue, and Thomas who has listened to me for hours despite only knowing me a few months. Friends from my past like my High School BFF Mary, who recently reappeared in my life at just the right time. And friends who have been with me all along, though just as quiet passengers on this road of my life, up until now when they realized I needed them. I am thankful for the people I still have (or have once again) in my life.

So I continue to pray, and to listen for answers. And in the mean time, I try to pick up the pieces that are left of my life. A life I once loved, and a life that I will once again love in the future. For I choose to follow the path of Faith.