How to Listen....

I have been listening. Waiting for my answers. I have become pretty skilled at listening in the last year or so. Listening to my children, to my heart, to my birthing women, to the answers to my prayers.

As a result of my listening, and the turmoil of my recent days, I am reminded of one of my favorite songs. "Take Up Our Cross" by Curtis Stephan and Sarah Hart. I rediscovered the beauty of Christian music while attending Mass at Good Shepherd where they often sing "We are One Body". Tori just loves to sing and dance to that song. Once Tori got an MP3 player I was determined to fill it with good Christian music, and as a result I stumbled on "Take Up Our Cross" and instantly fell in love with the song, I find it so inspiring. The chorus (which I find myself singing constantly) goes like this:


We take up our cross and follow him;
we lay down our lives that we might live.
We carry the hope of Christ within;
we take up our cross and follow him.



That is basically the gist of what I have been trying to do in the days since my last post. I know it is fairly unusual for me not to post a bunch, or at least once a day, but I found myself lost for awhile. Lost in despair. Lost in heartbreak. I know that I was on the verge of an emotional breakdown, and I barely navigated around it. Only with an amazing amount of skill that I have obtained over a lifetime of struggles was I able to avoid that breakdown. But, as the all time favorite song, my children's favorite song to be sung at night, "Amazing Grace" says:

Amazing Grace, How sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me!
At first I was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see!

and now I'm found. and I find myself rebuilding my life, one cobblestone at a time. And this time, it will be even better. It *has* to be better. I won't allow it to be any other way. And I am forever reminded that:
And so, with His Help, I will be ok.