Rebirth

What a fitting time of year for this post. I found myself reminding myself today of this journey called life, and what it is all really about. I was forced into a truth today that I'd rather have done without, but now it's out.

After my exhusband left I began looking at my life as a series of rebirths, each one resulting in a slighly newer, slightly smarter, slightly more improved version of me.
When I was in fourth grade and we moved to Florida from Ohio, thus getting me away from my abusers, I was reborn.

When I met Andy and started going to Church, I was reborn.

When I graduated from high school and realized that sometimes love hurts - a lot. I was reborn.

When I got married I was reborn.

When I had my first baby I was reborn.
When I caught my husband cheating the first time I was reborn.

When I had my second and third baby, I was reborn each time.

When I returned to Church I was reborn.

When my husband left, I was again reborn.

When I found Andy again, and rediscovered parts of me I thought were gone forever, I was reborn.

And now that my heart has been shattered, I am yet again reborn.

How many times, I began to wonder, must one be reborn? And I realized the answer while driving home from Church, tears streaming down my face: We shall be reborn over and over again until the final time, our own resurrection day. We shall be reborn again and again through this journey called life, and the last time, the final time, that we are reborn, we shall be perfect. And we will live in the Millenial Kingdom as perfect beings.

But in the mean time, I feel like the phoenix rising. And that's why my first tat will be that of a phoenix. I will take pics of it as soon as I finally manage to get it.