STRESSED!!

I am finding myself so stressed out these days. I have had a lot of stuff going on in my family life that has been trying the limits of my abilities to cope. Mix that with planning a wedding, raising three children, the final year of midwifery school, being on call, working clinic, and my own personal roller coaster ensues, both emotionally and physically.

I'm beginning to feel it. The exhaustion that sets in from too much stress. I'm trying to find moments to remind myself it will all be worth it in the end, and that God's plans are sometimes quite different than our own. Spending a lot of time in prayer lately.

On a brighter note, we are taking the kids camping this weekend to an awesome part of a national forest. I can't wait to just relax and soak in the days for a few days. It's like our own mini staycation. Jereme and I really need this time to just chill and get back to the basics with the family. We're both about at our peak of frustrations these days.

Speaking of Jereme....he found a kitten in our back yard. The kitten is all black with yellow green eyes and has since been named "bipity bopity boo" or "boo" for short. He's about 6 months old. At first he was way skittish of us, but my daughter tricked him into coming in the house and now all he does is sit in our laps and purr. God knew I needed a baby in the house to love on I guess :)

well that's it for now, off to do some more organizing for the trip!!!

The Home Stretch!!

I feel like there are so many things coming to culmination within the next year. I'm in the home stretch in so many things!

My wedding is only 6 months away! I can't believe it. In just six more months I will once again be a wife. What a huge life change this is.

I should graduate from midwifery school and finally have my Florida license in just 10 more months! I can't believe it. It's been such a long road, frustrating and lovely and frustrating and perfectly done just the way it was supposed to be.

My birthday just came around again, though I was still combating the flu, it still ended up being an alright birthday anyway. I have such an amazing family and my mom, brother, children and Jereme all celebrated with me and made sure it was a good birthday.

Clinic has been busy as always!! Gotta love my life!

Will update again soon!

*cough* *cough*

Soooo.....a few weeks ago Jereme came home from work and said "man, I worked with this guy today who seemed like he was dying of the flu!!" Great I thought to myself. This was a Thursday.

By Monday my littlest child was sick with fevers. He was sick Monday through Friday. On Friday I finally took him to the doctor and our wonderful doctor said "Yup, he has a positive Flu test!" sigh. By Friday, though, he was feeling better.

Saturday my oldest child started running fevers and not feeling well. I put him on Tamiflu (an antiviral designed for the flu) right away. He didn't go to school Monday, but my littlest (who was all better) and my middle both did.

Monday night my middle child came home from school with fevers. No school for her on Tuesday.

Tuesday I had two children (middle and oldest) running around the house like chickens with their heads cut off, no more fevers but not in school either. Wednesday I sent them back to school. By now (Tuesday) I was sick. Oh, and I hadn't been to the clinic since the Monday before when my littlest fell sick.

Wednesday, finally! All children back in school. I'm still sick, but eh, at least they're all in school and well!!

Wednesday night my oldest comes home with a fever again, and looks awful. No school for him on Thursday. Other two are well still, I'm still sick.

Thursday night, my oldest starts puking (FUN!! sigh.) and I'm still miserable

Friday youngest and middle are still in school and well, my throat, feels sore first thing in the morning and I have a bit of cough but otherwise good. My oldest looks much better. No more puking, and he's finally eating and the fever is gone. Yay maybe we are finally over this thing!! Now if we could all four shake this cough..... (and btw Jereme never even got sick!)

One year ago

One year ago yesterday eHarmony.com matched me with a group of local men. Out of that group, I chose to only start communicating with two. Of the two, only one was interesting enough to continue to communicate with, and his name was Jereme. It has been one year since the start of our amazing whirlwind of a romance and I am still loving every minute of it. Jereme asked me a few days ago when it was that that feeling would wear off. Many of you know the feeling he spoke of, the feeling of not wanting to go to work (or whatever) because it involves leaving each other for a brief time. We just can't get enough of each other, still, and wonder if and when it will wear off. Some have suggested to Jereme it would wear off after the first year, we shall see. But I know from personal experience, when I am totally in love with someone, it never really wears off.

We've been talking a lot about midwifery, and the wedding, and school, and the honeymoon, and having more children. Wow how my life has changed in the last 18 months, it's barely even recognizable as mine. I am living such a blessed life, in a career that I love, with three amazing children and one of the most amazing men I have ever met.

I truly feel like I'm living a dream.

Wedding Planning!!

Yup, instead of working on my paper (at least it isn't due for a few more weeks....) I am surfing the web and doing some wedding planning.

So, though not all the bridesmaids are chosen yet, the dress is!!

So yup, there it is, the official choice for the bridesmaids dress. Now to figure out who that final bridesmaid will be....LOL!

Also in discussions around here lately have been the need to choose a DJ here pretty soon, figure out a photographer...and choosing the flatware. Yup the flatware has been quite the discussion for us.

First, Jereme had offered that we use paper plates. I scoffed at this idea!! The pure upset it caused for a full day in this house...not fun!! However I understood his point. Who wants to wash dishes for 200 people? Certainly not us!! So I did what I do best, and went on an internet search for a compromise.

And I found one!! So we are either going with disposable, compostable, renewable, fair trade palm plates ,














or disposable, compostable, renewable, fair trade bamboo plates.

Which ones we choose is yet up for discussion. I would love to also go with the birchwood forks and knives to go with it, but I'm nervous about the wood texture. I can't even stand the feeling of popsicle sticks in my mouth, I'm not sure how I can ask all of my guests to be happy eating off of a fork that is popsicle stick textured. We may have to come up with a different option for forks and knives...I'm thinking maybe biodegradable forks and knives made from sugar cane.

More later!!

two families

Molding two families and two households into one is turning out to be a stressful ordeal for me. I never thought this would be a particularly overwhelming step for me, but its turning out to be. I start thinking about things and then wandering down different rabbit holes until I just have no idea about anything anymore. I will say that this is more complicated when you have kids and other stuff already in the picture. It will all work out though, I just have to practice my patience.

Summer Heat

Year one term 3. Almost a junior!!

Today I finally asked one of my beast friends Sunni to be my maid of honor. I've been wanting to ask her for a few weeks, but just haven't been able to get to see her in person. I finally decided to ask her over the phone, and I am so happy that I did!! We cried together over the phone and it was just a beautiful moment. The wedding party is almost completely chosen now, we're just waiting on one of the potential bridesmaids to confirm that she can come.

Right now we're on summer break, and this break I have a ton to do. I have to clean, do a ton of homework, be on call, and still try to enjoy myself and Jereme for the holiday weekend. We'll see how it goes.

My repro research paper is on the antepartal risk factors associated with incidence of cerebral palsy. My antepartum paper is on hyperemesis gravidarum. My antepartum paper is due before the repro paper, but the repro paper is way more interesting and therefore is almost done, even though my antepartum paper is sitting in my head bouncing around.

My kids are in Ohio for the summer having fun with their great grandparents and cousins and such. I miss them so much. They have never been up there without me, it's definitely been a difficult experience for me, less so for them. But they are having a blast, so that's good.

Jereme started his new job and loves it. I am so proud of him and happy that he is doing something he likes and is good at. Our lives are really coming together.

Holy Week

This Holy week is so different from last year. I am surrounded by love and happiness, I am feeling very productive and successful, and I feel like I'm walking the path I was meant to be on all along, with the man I was meant to be with all along.

Let us not forget, though, during this Easter season, surrounded by colored Easter eggs and trips to visit the Easter bunny at the mall, egg hunts, candy baskets, that the real celebration is in the sacrifice Jesus made for all of us. He not only died in crucifixion (one of the most horrible ways yet to be killed by a human) but was scourged first, tortured, mocked, spat on, and forced to carry his cross all the way to golgotha. Jesus gave up his life for us. In the ultimate sign of love, he died to save all of us.

I have made it a tradition to watch "Passion of the Christ" by Mel Gibson every year at Easter time. Jereme is going to be joining me in this tradition as of this year :) We are scheduled to watch it this Thursday night together. I'm sure I will cry (I always do) but how can you not?

Palm Sunday was last Sunday. We went to Mass with Jereme's mom at Annunciation, and then she took all of us out for pizza afterwards. I (of course!) cried through Palm Sunday Mass. This is always such an amazing, and thankful, time of year for me.

This is the last week of classes. My finals are the Tuesday and Wednesday after Easter and then I am on break, I can't wait!!

The Ring!

We picked up the ring last night from the jeweler. We had to take it to be sized and so I haven't been able to actually wear it since the night Jereme proposed. Now I can't stop looking at it! I feel like a giddy teenager again LOL!

My summer, it seems, is going to become complicated. Hopefully it will work itself all out though. There are so many changes going on it my life, and other people's lives that directly effect me. I have a feeling it's going to be a challenging summer as a result of school + all the changes going on.

More to follow!

We Got the Hall!

So we reserved the hall for the wedding reception on Monday. After a weekend long dialogue between Jereme and I, trying to decide if we should cut the guest list or just get the bigger hall, we opted for the bigger hall. So, we decided to rent the Winter Park Garden Club building that is in Mead Gardens. The hall is actually beautiful and it overlooks the gardens. I love it. So I am secretly happy that Jereme won the dialogue and we're just ending up over budget for the hall.

So, the main part of the hall has a stage, and a white sash that stays on the ceiling at all times. It has long windows but they have shutters that close from the inside to block out sun if you want. the lights are dimmable, and globe shaped. They include tables in the rental, and chairs as well, which is cool, but it does not include linens or plates or anything (which the smaller hall did).

The hall also comes with a smaller room which is going to be used as the "buffet" room. It is a fairly good sized room with a kitchen off of it, and a place for the bar to be set up. The kitchen is small, but plenty big enough for our mother's to get to work in it for the food! LOL!

We have six hours with our rental fee, and just over $70/hr for any additional time that we need. The cost has me a bit on edge about the budget, but I'm going to have faith that it will work itself all out. Jereme and I will be paying for this wedding all on our own, since my family has no money to put into a second wedding for me.

now that the question of the hall is all squared away we can get to more fun little things. Of course there are still a few big things we need to get (photographer anyone?) but most of the rest of the things we have to plan can be done over time instead of needing an earlier reservation time.

School is winding down, and we only have two weeks left. I'm so excited to have yet another semester behind me, and I am doing so great! I can't wait to be a junior and have to be in Gainesville less often.

More updates to follow!